First Impressions of a New World

Amy's Choice (sorry its late its been on hell of a couple of months!)

It is custom, in today’s science fiction landscape, to dip into an alternate reality once in a while. Just as Red Dwarf and indeed Star Trek have encountered so many times before, the lives of the weekly protagonists is shaped by choice, and this time its Amy’s turn to have the final say.

Whilst revisiting these sci-fi conventions, Amy’s Choice manages to be fresh and original and the main benefit of this is the work of writer Simon Nye, who with his first script for Doctor Who brings something new to the table whilst making sure that the main ingredients of the show remain intact. We are treated to sinister aliens hiding in the bodies of the elderly population of ‘Upper’ Leadworth, Time Lord and companions in a perilous position and a dark, mysterious foe manipulating the situation to his devious ends, but we will get onto the Dream Lord later.

So with all the boxes ticked, Nye is given full license to thrill for a whole 45 minutes, and while most of the action is set inside the beautiful TARDIS (which looks just fabulous when it freezes over towards the climax) the story zips between two possible ‘realities’, ultimately the ideal world back on Earth or the fantastical world of adventure drifting towards a burning ice star.

The title itself suggests that the story will evolve mostly around Amy Pond, but the tale of two worlds in which she must make the choice that one of them is real, is actually about fiancé Rory, who’s ideal world includes a quiet village, a full doctorate as opposed to just being a nurse and the Doctor’s world which is full of danger. It is another reference to the choice she has been torn between since the Doctor crashed back into her life halfway into The Eleventh Hour and each TARDIS crew member is as important as the other.

Arthur Darvill as the cautiously doting Rory continues to delight me, with his presence completing the TARDIS line up. His character bounces off that of Matt Smith’s Doctor and their alpha male competitive streak is a nice touch compared to the Doctor’s previous relationship with a companions love interest in Mickey, but his streaks of heroism and comedy steal the show and are easily the most likable character in the episode. I’m still not sure if he is destined to stay until the end of the series but the show will be all the poorer without him.

Karen Gillan also manages to make a prosthetic pregnancy look convincing and her character continues to develop, despite being slightly sketchy early on this series. However one grumble I will have is the ‘comedy scenes’ when Amy goes into to labour worked the first time, but quickly wore off and was as funny as a Christmas charity advert when it happens the last time. Apart from that though, her emotional journey is completed and in the end she is rewarded with the best of both worlds, the love of her boyfriend and her 907 year-old best friend.

Anyway, back to the Dream Lord, the villain of the piece and the character who will no doubt get us fanatics talking. Way back in the 1980’s, Colin Baker’s Doctor found his incarnation of trial in the aptly named The Trial of a Time Lord where his prosecutor, The Valeyard, turned out to be an evil incarnation of the Doctor between his twelfth and thirteenth regenerations. Could the Dream Lord’s appearance herald the coming of the Valeyard? Maybe he is the Valeyard and as Matt Smith’s Doctor progresses this evil side of the Doctor may rear its ugly head again.

Toby Jones performance as the Dream Lord was full of malice and evil and as a result his fleeting appearance in this episode will surely be rewarded with a return in the not so distant future (or past). The inclusion of the pensioners, and Mrs Poggit in particular is superbly chilling and should keep young children from asking their Grandparents for pocket money for a bit – they have seen what they can do if they want to get rid of you!

On the whole, Amy’s Choice is the latest in a line of thrilling and highly entertaining stories that is making up Matt Smith’s first season as the Doctor. It serves its purpose in developing the bonds between the Doctor, Amy and Rory and is epic on a small scale. As the series gathers momentum and viewers keep watching in there millions, with more dangers in store, will they be torn apart?

9/10

First Impressions Of A New World

 The Vampires of Venice

“Venice!” “Venetia!”
Six weeks in and Doctor Who has gone continental when the Doctor’s wedding present to Amy and Rory turns out to be more than just a book token, but a trip to 16th century Venice, where they find a group of Vampires who are not all that they seem and a sinister school.
After the drama of The Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone it was refreshing for The Vampires in Venice to be a camp yet highly enjoyable jaunt into the past for Amy and the new companion Rory.
Now for many fans this might be a journey into familiar territory with the comparisons between Amy and Rory’s relationship and the Rose and Mickey saga obvious to the ever faithful viewer and there were some very close similarities between this and Toby Whithouse’s last script in 2006’s School Reunion, the last of a dying race taking over the Earth which can shift into the form of a human figure of authority is not new to Doctor Who.
The inclusion of Amy’s fiancé Rory as a companion has been just what the Doctor ordered (ouch – forgive me!) and Arthur Darvill has brought a nice slice of comedy to the TARDIS crew and although he may not be your stereotypical hands on assistant like Captain Jack Harkness but he does have a go at sword-fighting with mummy’s boy Francesco with a broom and earns some tonsil time with his fiancé as a reward. I sincerely hope that Rory becomes more than a recurring character like Mickey Smith was since Doctor Who works better when there are two companions, something we have been starved off for long periods since the show’s revival in 2005.
Matt Smith yet again manages to put in a fascinating performance, although the moment he is electrocuted by the door outside the House of Calvierri seemed a little false and resembled a small boy busting to go to the small boy’s room. But apart from that, he is definitely cemented into his role and his eccentric alien qualities keep on shining, and the inspired idea to have him bursting through Rory’s stag party cake had me chuckling on my tea. Additionally, the moment where he produces the First Doctor’s library card to the vampire girls
Villain of the week Rosanna played by Helen McCrory enjoys a rather flirtatious encounter with the Doctor as two races on the verge of extinction play with the idea of forming an alliance, much to the Doctor’s distaste and her relationship with her son, the sword wielding Francseco verged on being slightly incestuous and at times she seemed almost pantomime villain like as the story wore on.
Expectantly, the location filming is to die for, with the Croatian town of Trogir doubling as a convincing Venice of 1580 was bursting full of colour and splendour, something that BBC drama productions does very well indeed mostly more convincing than space operas anyway.
One of the biggest delights for me so far this series is that episode wise there have been no duds. Every story has been an enthralling well balanced adventure with equal amounts of humour and emotion to keep viewers of all ages gripped, apart from The Vampires of Venice very nearly overstepping the mark for the former.
So then, my one grumble I would have about this episode is the sexual connotations. For a family show like Doctor Who I really do not think that jokes about the size of people’s manhood is slightly below the belt – literally, and I am hoping that later on in the series the humour becomes slightly dryer and less reliant on naughty bits to get the laughs.
Apart from that blip, The Vampires of Venice was a slick effort which delighted throughout, an entertaining Saturday tea time romp and with the introduction of Rory as the new companion - a decision which may divide some fans but is welcome from this one - will add another dimension to the next few episodes as the series gathers momentum. But the silence at the climax is haunting the time travellers and the trailer for next week’s offering has definitely set up an intriguing teaser that leaves us waiting for when Saturday comes.

First Impressions Of A New World: The Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone

WITH every new Doctor comes a story that welcomes back old elements of the show to help settle the new boy in. Just as the Daleks were used as a familiar helping for the Second Doctor and the Master was at his devious best to welcome more than one new incarnation to the universe, this time we had not just one returning enemy, but also a future (or is that past) ally in the form of River Song as she helps the Doctor and Amy battle the chilling Weeping Angels for two weeks of terror, frights in the dark and sinister two-parter that has surely put people back behind the sofa where they belong.

The opening scene is like no other in the show’s long history. There is a mix of Indiana Jones and James Bond in space, guest starring The Streets! It’s a hectic blend of intrigue and two worlds colliding, fluxing back together at the wrong end, the Doctor knowing how River Song meets her end but not knowing how he knows her or why she will play such a huge part in his history and River knows this man very well indeed, an maybe even better than he knows himself.

The Time of Angels is also the first episode in which Amy really comes alive as a companion. Up until now she has been a slightly vague creation, as if there is a big story just waiting to be told about her but one that until now has held her character back. Yet as soon as she is possessed by the Weeping Angels and she is rubbing stone from her eye it adds another dimension to her narrative and one that places her in the worst danger imaginable.

As we learn a little more about River Song as the story continues, her story is just as wibbly-wobbly timey -whimey as the Doctors and something tells me we have not seen the last of her this series and while the inclusion of the Fathers of the Church and a forest within the Byzantium in the second part is an inspired idea, and the haunting walk through the Maze Of The Dead heaped more mystery and terror upon us fans for a whole 45 minutes.

Unfortunately though, Mike Skinner was not the only guest star as another well known personality made an unexpected appearance as the Doctor made his speech to Angel Bob. Graham Norton has now invaded the who-niverse for the second time now since the show’s 2005 revival, the man must be really desperate for a part! However his minimal part in the story became a big story in the press the next day but for me it did ruin a truly fantastic episode.

The following part Flesh and Stone naturally continues where The Time of Angels left off, but is ultimately more intense with the scene where Octavian meets his maker and Amy’s blind walk through the forest makes for chilling viewing, and when the Angels turn menacingly to our shock they are more than just statues! And surely their presence as one of the greatest Doctor Who monsters ever had been cemented and they have burned themselves into the long term memory of young children, who will look twice when they walk past churches with sinister gargoyles peering down upon them!

The story has all the makings of a modern day classic – an iconic monster, memorable moments, convincing performances from all involved and a Doctor at the top of his game so early into his reign. Matt Smith displays the full range of emotions during both episodes, and we see a rage we have not seen the Doctor possess for a long time.

However the final scene in Amy’s bedroom was a radical departure from the rest of the story but a necessary one as it explained the significance behind the base code and the crack in the wall, it’s all about Amy and just as she was evolving into a classic series companion, she may just be the most important one since Rose as her story progresses. Matt Smith’s awkwardness to her advances were also a welcome departure from all the romantic inclinations we have been exposed to recently, though it did take a couple of viewings to get it and who knows, maybe even the Doctor will between now and next week!

So then overall The Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone is a fantastic showpiece for the writing and creative imagination of Steven Moffat and now all the elements of the new series are fusing together, but that crack in time maybe gone for the moment but what is the significance of Amy’s wedding day? And will the Doctor manage to keep away from Amy’s charms for long? See you next week to find out!

9/10

First Impressions Of A New World

Victory Of The Daleks

JUST three weeks into the new series and Steven Moffat has sent in the heavies.

The new Doctor is pitted against his fiercest enemies for the first time, and disastrously for him, the clue is in the title, he fails to stop them. It is quite easy to see that Mark Gatiss’ story is just one corner part of a jigsaw in a much bigger picture where the Daleks of the Time War are no more and a new improved, and colourful army awakes to potentially wreck havoc on the universe.

The background story set during the Second World War is dwarfed by the return of a deadly nemesis, and in the end it boils down to just two factors that have been constant throughout the whole history of Doctor Who, the Doctor and the Daleks.

The new design for the Daleks is bigger and more imposing than before, with parallels being drawn between this design and the ones Peter Cushing’s movie Doctor encountered back in the sixties. The look on the Doctor’s face as they emerge from their metal womb is one of horror and detest, and for once there is ultimately nothing he can do to stop them.

With every passing episode, Matt Smith continues to grow and grow in stature as the Doctor. As he witnesses the birth of the new Daleks and threatens them with a jammy dodger, it’s almost as if he has been facing everyone’s favourite monster for years, the perfect pitch for the Time Lord, staring into the eye stalk of an enemy he has defeated so many times before, and for the first time with his Granddaughter and two schoolteachers back on Skaro in his first incarnation, yet here is the same man standing before them, torn between their resurrection and the humans below.

Another performance that sparkles throughout is that of Ian McNeice, whose portrayal of Winston Churchill is instantly likeable, the man with which the hope of a nation devastated by war rest on his shoulders, and he carries the responsibility of the great man marvelously. A return appearance must surely be on the cards.

Some aspects of Victory are startlingly similar to the Patrick Troughton classics Power of the Daleks and The Evil of the Daleks in both concept and dialogue. The Doctor’s “the final end” quote is plucked straight from the last episode of Evil whilst the notion that the Daleks live to serve the human race is taken from the former story, and these nods to the classic series are somewhat melancholic considering both stories are now lost in the winds of time.

Once again the Doctor is left with a difficult choice, like last week dilemma in The Beast Below it holds a personal problem, destroy the thing he despises the most or save the beings he loves the most from the android puppet that is Professor Bracewell, the walking time bomb. The Daleks are always one step ahead of the Doctor and in capturing his testimony to start the restoration of the Dalek race and leaving a booby trap behind this is their greatest victory, and there is surely more to come.

The battle between the spitfires and the Dalek flying saucer is both fun and spectacular, suspending our disbelief at such an audacious concept which is genial.

The Doctor’s pain and anger in losing the to the Daleks is softened by his new friend and the fact that he saved the Earth, a fact that Amy states and she is fast becoming the friend he really needs, the missing link in his long hectic life, someone who sooths the disappointment when things do not go to plan and a human who spots the things the Doctor misses, and without that he would be lost.

So then, overall Victory serves it’s purpose in re-introducing the greatest monsters in the Doctor Who universe back as a massive threat in the cosmos once again. It was never going to be as grand or epic as recent modern classics like Bad Wolf/The Parting of the Ways or The Stolen Earth/Journey’s End but after watching it, that is not the way it has been written. It’s one man against a broken but strong alien menace building themselves back to glory with the old traveller helpless against the tide of inevitability. But why has Amy forgotten the Daleks? And what of the crack in the wall that is ghostly haunting the Doctor and Amy? Maybe the Weeping Angels and River Song hold the answer…  7/10

First Impressions Of A New World

The Beast Below

AFTER the thrilling introduction to a fresh new concept the week before, Doctor Who got back to what it does best, scaring the children back behind their sofas with The Beast Below, Steven Moffat’s tale of Great Britain among the stars and the mystery of what was behind the terrifying Smilers, who will keep small kids away from seaside amusements for this summer at least!

The Doctor takes new companion Amy on her first trip in the TARDIS, something she had dreamt about all her life, and she practically saves the Doctor from committing one of the most horrific acts in his long life, one which seems not to dissimilar to the choice he had to make when he ended the Time War, something which will forever haunt his waking moments.

The Beast Below is classic Doctor Who, it’s got all the elements that make the show tick, memorable scary monsters, funny moments – including the mad scene where the Doctor and Amy are nearly eaten by the space whale are quite literally thrown up and a strong storyline, which in turn brings out rich performances from the main protagonists, but for my money Karen Gillan steals the show.

Although Amy Pond is the latest in a long line of sexy, sassy and feisty (calm it!) female companions she brings something very new to the role, her eyes and experiences are the ones we follow as viewers, but she has known the Doctor since childhood and knows his new form better than he does and the character development is one I am excited to watch as it unravels throughout the series.

The shoes that Matt Smith is filling fit well, you wear them well sir!

On this early evidence, Smith is already fast becoming the most complete incarnation of the Doctor to date and he regularly displays characteristics of all his ten predecessors, the stern turn of Hartnell, the child like fun of Troughton, the dashing approach of Pertwee, the other world alien-ness of Tom Baker, the obvious youthful naivety of Davison, the brash rage of Colin Baker, the mysteriousness of McCoy, the mad professor persona of McGann, the lonely melancholy of Eccleston and manic larger than life streak of David Tennant whilst adding some new qualities to his Doctor. Someone’s been doing his homework.

Speaking of which, something tells me that Moffat has been brushing up on The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy and drinking pan galactic gargle blasters as the Space Whale and the Starship UK setting is the kind of thing that was permanently in the minds eye of Douglas Adams.

The opening scene in which the young boy Timmy is plunged to Beast below (sic) just as the Smiler’s expression turns to one of evil menace could have been a fantastic cliffhanger and it wets the appetite for the rest of the episode as the screech greets the TARDIS and the opening credits.

The inclusion of Liz 10, brought to life in a blaze of cockney glory by Sophie Okonedo, was one that bought the story full circle, of course there had to be a ruler on board Starship UK, but one that was not in charge, or so we were made to think.

Children of the nineties were surely thrilled when they saw the Chief being played by The Demon Headmaster himself Terence Hardiman, and at the conclusion the creepiness of the swivel headed Smilers disguises the fact that nobody dies in this episode, a body count so low the NHS would be proud of it, yet it is becoming apart of the staple diet of Steven Moffat’s stories, everybody lives!

Overall first two episodes of Season 31, or Series 5, or is it Series 1 again (?) have definitely been a sturdy start to The Eleventh Doctor’s reign, one of fear and memorable moments which will serve well as the weeks progress, but the cracks are starting to show, only in Amy’s bedroom wall and on the Starship UK and could this have anything to do with Winston Churchill and the shadow of an old enemy looming? Only time will tell.

8/10

First Impressions Of A New World

The Eleventh Hour

By Hayden Gribble

“Geronimo!”

Three months after literally exploding onto our screens, the good Doctor is back for 13 weeks of adventure and if ‘The Eleventh Hour’ is anything to go by, it’s going to be a memorable ride.

After leaving the Doctor in his crashing TARDIS at the climax of ‘The End of Time’, the story opens with yet more fire and explosions as the David Tennant era really is cremated. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, his reign is over and the age of Matt Smith begins with him clinging to the outside of the TARDIS as it crashes lands over London.

First things first, the title sequence is creepy and slightly X-Files, the new theme tune may take some getting used to, but the same definitely cannot be said for the new TARDIS interior, which is vast, expansive and beautifully designed in a way that HG Wells would have been proud of.

Everything is new. New Doctor, new companion played by the gorgeous Karen Gillan, new TARDIS both on the inside and out and new title sequence. And all of those factors are incredibly impressive and Moffat has achieved a new look to be proud of, but how did the story hold up in this brave new world?

The Doctor, still regenerating, is plunged head first into a quintessential little English village and meets Amelia Pond, an orphan girl who has a rather sinister crack in her wall, in which a shape shifter known as Prisoner Zero. For perhaps the first time since the first regeneration in 1966, the Doctor is thrust straight into action, the post regenerative trauma of old now banished.

The scene in which we see the world through the Doctor’s eyes is one of cleverest in Doctor Who’s history. As the camera pans gitterly around the picture-taking residents staring up at the Atraxi’s snowflake spaceships, our world stops and the Doctor’s hurtles around us dissecting every detail looking for a clue, and he finds it in Amy’s friend Rory, who is sure to become a male companion later in the series.

Matt Smith’s performance is one to be proud of. His craving for apples, yoghurt and eventually fish fingers in custard is like that of a pregnant woman, and the charming spark in his relationship with Amy is spot on right from the word “apples!”, onwards, as her development from sweet and innocent little girl to sexy kissagram is guaranteed keep the Dad’s watching.

Gillan is the latest in a long line of attractive assistants and will long in the imaginations of young teenage boys as their first crush, like Leela and Rose before her

As for me, I’m in love already…

The finale in the hospital will trigger the old memories of those who can remember Jon Pertwee’s debut story in 1970’s Spearhead From Space but the episode eclipses that and many more debut stories as the best, and most of that is down to Matt Smith, who mesmerizes throughout.

To put his performance into a musical analogy for the moment, David Tennant was a Doctor for the X-Factor generation, a character who was bright, sometimes cheesy and always larger than life. Think of the transition like The Beatles splitting up and Led Zeppelin becoming the next big group. The more commercial friendly yet occasionally dark model has been replaced by that of a harder, edgier more abstract one, and Matt Smith wields his powers like Jimmy Page launching into Stairway to Heaven.

Of course it is difficult to base where he will pitch the Doctor on one episode alone, but on this evidence he seems to have brought a lot of his own natural character to the screen, much like Tom Baker did when his iconic incarnation graced our screens. His eccentric streak is what will eventually win over the Tennant-ites (what I’m calling hardened fans of Doctor number 10) and the nod to the Doctors of old at the conclusion of the story reassured me that this is the same man as the one we met so long ago now in an old black and white junkyard.

So in conclusion ‘The Eleventh Hour’ is the perfect starting point for a new era of Doctor Who. Great acting and convincing performances from Smith and Gillan builds up one of the most important series in the show’s history and makes for an interesting and creepy adventure and if the coming soon trailer is anything to go by, its one of many that will have us glued to the television screens for weeks to come.

“Who da man!” indeed.

8/10

Raidings In My DVD Collection

Batman – Tim Burton 1989

Hello Blogspotters, and welcome to my first of a new review feature I am writing in which I review a film from my vast and overflowing DVD collection. Some good, some bad, some downright shoddy moments in cinema will too be included.

First up, its Batman, Tim Burton’s gothic re-imagining of one of the greatest comic book heroes. I have chosen Batman for three reasons. Firstly, It was released the summer I was born so I felt like being self indulgent, secondly Batman is by far the best conceived and most interesting of all the American superheroes featured in those classic 50’s comics. And thirdly, and most importantly for a review, I have a few opinions about it.

Then again, it is April Fools Day, so my films got a Joker in it...

Burton’s dark, moody and sombre style is a perfect set up for the first in a series of four films, which is a far cry in quality and tone from 1997’s Batman and Robin, which was as entertaining as watching your grandmother knit a brown jumper for all eternity. It was inspired by Frank Miller’s classic graphic novel, The Dark Knight and wipes the slate clean for a generation who grew up in the 80’s watching the camp and silly TV series.

There are some genuinely creepy moments, mostly involving the villain and show stealer Jack Nicholson, who’s portrayal of Jack Napier/The Joker, especially when in the scenes which shape his character’s destiny, when he falls in the vat of chemicals and when he is driven mad by his own altered reflection and the gruesome death of the newsreader thanks to the Joker’s beauty products left chills lingering in my dreams as a child.

The film stays true to the Gotham City inspired by Miller’s novel, and the atmosphere of tension and fear in the City spreads as corrupt officials struggle to celebrate their by-centennial year.

The best scene in the movie is definitely the scene where Kim Basinger’s helpless yet gorgeous heroin is tricked into a meeting with The Joker, whose decimation of the art gallery while listening to Prince on a retro ghetto blaster is both amusing and slightly un-nerving. It also includes the best line of the film.

Vicky Vale: Your insane!
Napier/Joker: I thought I was Pisces

Then of course we come to Batman himself. Michael Keaton is a surprise choice for Bruce Wayne/Batman, and although he may look like Tintin’s dad, he pulls off the part, but was rightly peeved when receiving second billing to Nicholson. Keaton’s wheels, the Batmobile is here at it’s iconic best and the design is by far the most impressive and memorable out of all the films in the Batman series.

Burton’s decision to make the villain the main character in both his Batman movies only works to some extent as the hero takes the back seat and we only learn a little about Bruce Wayne’s background, something we do not delve into until 1995’s Batman Forever, which is a shame because when Wayne has his flashbacks to his parent’s murder and sees The Joker as a younger man doing the killing, it messes with the back story slightly and only seem like it has been included to fit with this film and not with Bruce Wayne’s back story.

Overall, Batman is a great action adventure film and does not disappoint but may seem dated when compared to the latest Batman films starring Christian Bale but the narrative is a strong one, made even stronger by the brilliant central performance from Nicholson. It did seem too dark, however, for younger children to watch and I remember being around six when I first saw Batman and certain scenes did give me a fright but looking back now it only enhances the gloomy outlook of Gotham City and both the Joker and Batman too.

4/5

Music Inspiration

I love music. It is my church and I sing from the gospels of rock, pop, blues and electro. The messiahs in my church are Morrison, Hendrix, Albarn, Smith and Barrett and I sing their praises at least once a week.

Okay, enough of the preaching already, but as a songwriter myself I have always marveled at the creative powers of all these names and how they were inspired to write the classics which make them the legends they are today.

Look at Damon Albarn for example. One of his early inspirations was Ray Davies and The Kinks and after a torrid tour in America with Blur he came up with the concept of a trio of classic archetypal British albums, ‘Modern Life Is Rubbish, Parklife and The Great Escape’, telling stories based around stereotypes, young lovers on Portobello Road and the day to day lives of everyday people from these British Isles. Every Blur album since then has owed to Albarn’s forever changing vision, from the loud Pavement influenced self titled album to the dark n subued 13 to his African hip hop fused cartoon group Gorillaz, he is a rock chameleon who will keep changing until he finds a musical skin that fits.

Jim Morrison on the other hand was inspired by the crooners of the 1950s like Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin but was also heavily influenced by non musical factors like Greek mythology and poets such as William Blake a memory of a dead Indian at the side of the road after he witnessed the aftermath of a fatal road accident as a young boy, an image that burned into his psyche and of which he included in his work, making The Doors truly one of the all time great rock bands and turning Morrison himself into one of Music’s unforgettable icons.

The same can be said about Jimi Hendrix, whose decadent lifestyle and flamboyant stage presence preceded anything Freddie Mercury and Queen were doing by least 8 years. He was inspired by musicians such as Chuck Berry, Little Richard and James Brown, the stars who he played guitar for while he was working at his art. Without these people to show him the way artistically then the progression into acid rock may never have happened and Hendrix’s image as a Guitar Hero may never have surfaced.

Marc Bolan was one of the first Glam Rock icons of the 1970s, and he was influencing his peers such as David Bowie, Brain Eno and Elton John with his bright and colourful. His inspiration on the fellow rock stars around him at the time, like Hendrix, was having a huge affect on what became a whole new genre and he is just as influential to modern day bands like Kasabian and Placebo that he did back then. Without Bolan, there would have been no Bowie, therefore no The Smiths then no Franz Ferdinand and a whole host of modern day bands would sound a hell of a lot different. The Butterfly Effect in music form.

Those icons of the past, present and future are musical magpies. They have picked up the best aspects of what has gone before and have been influenced by the beautiful yet edgy aspects of what they have listened to.

And although some would argue that the quality of guitar bands has fallen over the last 15 years, there are still shining lights out there who will continue to have an effect on the worldwide music scene for years to come. 

Child Out Of Time

Recently, I submitted this article to Doctor Who Magazine about my experience as a Doctor Who fan in the nineties. I was a mere boy but thought my loyal follower(s) would be intetrested in giving it a glimpse.

Today, Doctor Who is one of the best-loved shows on our TV screens, but for long-term fans that were forced to fast for 16 years, there was a time not so long ago when it seemed that their beloved show was gone forever. But how did children who grew up in the 1990s become so captivated by a show that had was not broadcast during their early years? Hayden Gribble tells us his story.

“There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea’s asleep and the rivers dream, people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there’s danger, somewhere there’s injustice and somewhere else the tea is getting cold. Come on, Ace, we’ve got work to do”.

As the sunset on the Doctor’s adventures on 6th December 1989, I was just a babe in arms, barely six months old. My adventure had only just begun as another was coming to an end, just as it began to rise out of the murky depths of cancellation, poor plot lines and rather unfairly losing its dignity in a ratings battle with Coronation Street, back then this was no contest.

As I grew up, and became engrossed in books and TV shows about talking cars, puppets fighting Mysterons from Mars and brightly coloured Power Rangers, I was unaware that there was one adventure that I was missing out on, and I have been making up for it ever since.

The journey begun in May 1996, when on a family holiday to Leamington Spa my Father bought the Radiotimes and although I forget what the front cover looked like, my attention was drawn to the short magazine that was stapled in the centre of the TV listings. There were 8 faces floating through space - two in black and white, and upon asking who these men were my Dad replied, “Doctor Who”. “Which one?” I enquired. “All of them”.

I wanted to watch an episode straight away, and I did not have long to wait, as the TV Movie was about to air for the first time. My parents told me that the Doctor was to change in this face halfway through the film, and I was yearning to see more. But when I asked when the next episode would be shown, my Mum told me there wasn’t one.

I remember feeling both thrilled and disappointed with the TV Movie when it was originally broadcast, probably like many of the fans that had also tuned in, but my feeling was for different reasons. Here I had been caught hook, line and sinker by a truly brilliant piece television, but I could not watch anymore. I have never heard of one hour programming that can have such an effect of the imaginative mind of a seven year old since.

The concept of Doctor Who fascinated me right from the word go. An alien traveling through space and time, taking young humans on dangerous and exciting adventures, meeting important figures in history and fighting monsters as brilliant and original as the Daleks, the Cybermen and the Yeti thrived in my imagination. My birthday was just around the corner so I pleaded with parents and grandparents to buy me Doctor Who videos. It was not long until I got my first one, 1983’s Snakedance with Peter Davison, and the more I bugged my elders, little by little my video collection grew.

I used to invite friends around the mine after school to watch a video or two but to varied results. Some were engrossed just as I was a couple of years earlier, one time we even sat down to watch The Abominable Snowmen Episode 2 on The Troughton Years and we all saw past the black and white and polystyrene and gazed into wonderland.

Of all the tapes I owned, and still do, my absolute favourite was that Troughton Years video. The myth of Doctor Who was enhanced greater in my mind when I found that these episodes were the only ones that survived from their stories, and Patrick Troughton quickly established himself as my favourite Doctor. He was like the naughty uncle I never had, and I began writing stories based around the missing episodes and playing them out with my cousins. Heaven knows what my family must of thought when they heard, “Oh my giddy aunt! Jamie! Don’t go in that cave!” belting from my bedroom.

As my childhood dissolved into memory and the angst of adolescence reared it ugly head, I continued to write my own Doctor Who stories, replacing companions with myself and my friends and hiding them in a dusty file under my bed, praying my footballing friends would never see them otherwise I was doomed.

How many 10 year olds do you know who went to a Sci-Fi convention in Clacton and met Deborah Watling and the man who played Chewbacca? Not so many back then, but yet just ten years down the line, the world of Doctor Who is thriving again, the series has arguably never been stronger and children all across the world are playing it in the playground, writing about it when they get home, drawing pictures of Daleks and the Doctor and dreaming that one day they will find the TARDIS on the corner of their road, and they too will be whisked away to another world.

It is fairly safe to say that that one moment back in 1996 shaped my future and is now the main reason why I am a writer. Perhaps one day, when Doctor Who is no longer on our screens or in the public consciousness (heaven forbid) another young boy or girl will come across an old looking, long out of fashion DVD of Matt Smith’s first series, maybe he or she too will fall in love the programme just as we all have. Time will only tell.

My Top 10 Songs In Movies

It is popular knowledge that in moments of nostalgia and extreme boredom that people begin to form Top 10 lists on various things of general interest - especially in pubs. One such list arose at a slow day at work when we asked each other what the best songs from movies were. Here are my personal preferences.


Eye Of The Tiger - Survivor from Rocky III (1982)

It came close, but my all time favourite movie song has go to be Eye of the Tiger which is arguably more memorable than the film it featured in. For nearly 30 years it has put fire back into the bellies of those who lose their confidence and maybe even more but have bounced back to win against the odds, much like Rocky Balboa himself. This song is an effort for the underdog to hit back and the superb opening bars which are timed like the blows of the punches in the ring is one of the best openings to a rock song ever.



Ray Parker Jr - Ghostbusters from..erm...Ghostbusters (1984)

So unashamedly 1980's yet it still remains immensely popular as a film and as a song. But yet, Ghostbusters, both song and movie remain very much of it's time but also firmly in the affections of fans both new and old. A simple yet catchy number, it get's into your head and refuses to budge.



You Could Be Mine - Guns 'N' Roses from Terminator 2; Judgement Day (1991)

Many people confuse this adrenaline pumping GNR track as being for the first Terminator film but it perfectly accompanies the bigger, brighter and ultimately better sequel. Apart from it's shameless inclusion in the pointless and rib ticklingly bad Termnator; Salvation last year, the song bristles with all the cool swagger of a powerful force at the peak of their powers, and Arnie's in the video!!



Live and Let Die - Paul McCartney and Wings - Live and Let Die (1973)

You cannot compile a list of film soundtracks and not mention at least one contribution from the legacy which is the James Bond films. Live and let Die is by far the best of all the soundtracks, starting with a slow Hey Jude-style introduction before exploding into a hectic progression of chords with strings that makes it undeniably Bond but without that it would still have stood up as one of the best efforts from a Post-Beatle.



Stand By Me - Ben E King - Stand By Me (1986)

Another classic 1980's movie ( are you noticing the pattern here?) and another fantastic song. Ben E King recorded the song 21 years before the book The Body was written by Stephen King, which the movie was based on, yet it still fits the sotrylibe perfectly and it's title even became that of the film. It is a call to arms for those who value companionship and the vision of four friends walking along railway tracks becomes stronger because of it.



Don't You Forget About Me - Simple Minds - The Breakfast Club (1985)

If ever a song apitomised a film, a moment and even an era, it is surely this Simple minds classic. Everything about the record screams big hair, loud clothes and even louder youthful rebellion and like a number of films you can't imagine either the film without the song or vice versa.




All Along The Watchtower - The Jim Hendrix Experience - Forrest Gump (1994)

Forrest Gump is a tale told throughout changing times which shaped our modern history and All Along The Watchtower sparkles amongst other gems from the late 1960's. The song sums up all of the turmoil that America was going through in the late 1960's as the effects of Vietnam, the assasinations of JFK and Martin Luther King and LSD took a toll on the western world. Originally written by Bob Dylan, I sense that the reference in the title is that he is watching all of this happen and can't do anything about it. Much like Forrest Gump himself actually.



Stonehenge - Spinal Tap - This Is Spinal Tap (1984)

Stonehenge is perhaps the highpoint of the greatest mock-umentary ever made. Whilst designed to be a send up, it still carries enough weight to a decent song too, but then again that is coming from somebody who's father's record collection consisted of Alice Cooper, Led Zeppelin and Yes, the band's Spinal Tap were deliberately taking the mick out of. It is grandious, pompous, silly and includes an hilarious prop piece in the film, what more would you want from a comedy?



Fools Gold - The Stone Roses - Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)

A late inclusion into one of the best britich films og the 1990's, Fools Gold was originally released as a single 9 years before Lock Stock was even made. The song is the apitome of it's creators, who's brief spell at the zenith of British rock remains a watermark for guitar bands to emulate even to this day. The cool swagger and confidence sums up everything the film is about too, which became a huge hit and launched the career of director Guy Ritchie.




Doubleback - ZZ Top - Back To The Future III (1990)

Of all the songs used in the Back To The Future Trilogy, this one from the beardly blues men just gets the nod past the cult classic The Power Of Love by Huey Lewis And The News from the first film. Doubleback has a rockier edge and becomes a more excessible song as it has not been sent up as much as The Power Of Love. Even if the video is unashamedly 1980's, if you listen and look closely to the band playing at the clock tower party in the film, you will notice that ZZ Top make a guest appearance playing an acoustic version of the chorus!


And there you have it. God i hope I have a more productive day tomorrow to save u lot from another list like this!

A New Man For All Seasons

The wait is nearly over. After the flawed climax to David Tennant's reign as Doctor Who 3 months ago, a growing sense of anticipation is sweeping the who-niverse. In two weeks time, Doctor number 11, Matt Smith picks up the keys to his burning TARDIS and will take die hard fans both young and old on a 13-week adventure through time and space, which I am hoping will stand as the beginning of a new golden age of Doctor Who.

As a long term fan who found the programme as a seven year old slap bang in the middle of the show's hiatus in then nineties, I have grown used to the frequently changing nature of Doctor Who, which regenerates itself every few years so it remains fresh and exciting for the viewing public.

Many a fan, both old and new, have expressed their view that Tennant was and is the best Doctor to hold a sonic screwdriver and that Matt Smith doesn't stand a chance in hell of winning over those fans of David's who may even be baying for blood. This is a load of complete nonsense, as any long term fan of the show will tell you. To paraphrase the brilliant Second Doctor, the show depends on renewal, without it it would not survive.

Before Tennant exploded onto our TV screens in 2005, the Time Lord's shortest incarnation, Christopher Eccleston, had been hailed to take Tom Baker's crown as Top Time Lord. Each new Doctor has brought a new dimension to the role and Smith will make the part his own for however long he travels in time in space.

Another grumble from alot of fans is Smith's age. But people forget that back in 1981, when Peter Davison picked up the baton from Tom Baker, he brought a youthful and naive portrayal and he went on to be one of the very best Doctors (okay I admit there are alot of them). So give Matt Smith a few episodes to settle in and I'm sure you will forget all about David what's his name, you know, the one from Casanova?

Another great sign that the show is in safe hands is the head writer is Steven Moffatt. He has been by far the best writer for the show since Robert Holmes. And I know this may sound blasphamous to many Russell T Davies fans out there, but Moffatt's stories so far have been original, terrifying, full of humour and sentiment. Throw in some memorable monsters and you have the integral ingredients to Doctor Who, the character and the TV show. And I'm not the only person who thinks tihs too, as the statistics prove.

In October 2009, Doctor Who Magazine released the results of the 'Mighty 200' poll, a fan based project to see which story/episode was the best in the show's five decade history. It is unsuprising to me that all four of Moffatt's contributions so far (The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances, The Girl In The Fireplace, Blink and Silence In The Libary/Forest of The Dead) were in the top 25, as apposed to RTD who could only claim three and he was the head writer for five years! The problem with RTD is that he relied on an over dependence on old adversaries, tear jerkers and camp shananagans.

So the stability of the countries favourite sci-fi/family show is safe as the show rides gallantly towards 50th anniversary in 2013. Rumour has it that Matt Smith has signed up until then, so if you do decide you don't like him, tough, your stuck with him or take up watching something alot less imaginative like any british soap opera.

I sincerely hope he can turn even those who wear David 'thing-magige' pyjamas (yes I'm looking at you adults too who probably wear such romance-killing doctor who pyjamas). He will be as difficult to ignore as Colin Baker's costume and even in the last 20 seconds of The End of Time, he excelled, leaving many a viewer begging for more, but good things cone to those who wait.

And now, after spoiler campaigns to wet the appetite and pictures we shouldn't have been allowed to see (Daleks, Weeping Angels, new TARDIS and the Doctor playing sunday league football!) we are nearly there.

See you April 3rd for my review of the Eleventh Doctor's debut 'The Eleventh Hour'.

Heres a tribute to the show, sorry for the shit music i didn't make it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AymEpaPsyyw

Mother Goose Review

I wrote a review of Steeple Bumpstead Players pantomime 'Mother Goose' a couple of weeks ago but unfortunately not all of it went in the paper. Here is the unedited version.

Steeple Bumpstead Players and Junipers: Mother Goose



Steeple Bumpstead Village Hall was the venue last Friday as Mother Goose opened to a near capacity audience.

This was Hayley Thorn’s directorial pantomime debut and her influence was seen throughout, especially with the dance scene at the end when the Junipers performed S Club 7’s ‘Reach’.

The pantomime was a usual mix of carry-on innuendo and references to popular movies, with a sound track as diverse as ‘You’re the One I want’ from Grease and ‘Gonna Fly Now’ from Rocky which greeted both Mother Goose and Priscilla the Goose, played by Ann Gladden, onto the stage.

There were also the usual ‘He’s behind you!’ and ‘ Oh no your not’ exchanges between audience and cast, especially when the Demon of Discontent appeared, played by Trevor Bishop, who’s hypnotic yet mad eyes were very much apart of the character we have come accustomed to in a Pantomime villain.

The star of the show was Mother Goose herself as Sheila Bronson delighted the crowd, who took a while to get warmed up, and who definitely became more vocal as the pantomime went on.

Another entertaining performance came from Jo Bishop who played daft as a brush Billy, but who unfortunately was not allowed to throw sweets into the crowd as it is now seen as a health and safety hazard, I like others was not aware that the PC police were in attendance!

Even though the King of Gooseland appeared half way through the second act, the King of Puns was definitely in attendance, shouting “Egg-cellent!” as Priscilla the Goose delivered three gold eggs and heckling, “Your really branching out”, when the Demon of Discontent was turned into a tree after hypnotizing himself.

Overall it went as well as an opening night can go but I am sure that as the Saturday matinee performance looms the audience and the cast will both get into top gear.

When The Year Has A 'One'

'It's lucky for Spurs when they year ends in one' sings Chas N Dave in their 1991 'classic'. But what about in a year with a one in it?

As the blue and white army embarks on the business end to the campaign, there are encouraging signs to say that this year could really be our year. For a start the draw for the semi's couldn't have been kinder. Throughout the season Spurs have been caught short with their trousers down against Wolves (twice - oh the pain), Stoke at home and away to Everton, and in each round against Leeds and Bolton, we either haven't taken our chances or just have not been at our best on the day, but after a masterclass of organisation against Fulham, I am hoping, I am praying, that we have scoring boots on next wednesday and capitalize on the brilliant prospect of beating Pompey in the semi's, who are going down quicker than a nymphomaniac miner.

However the flame of spirit has been ignited in Portsmouth during their FA Cup run, mich in the way both Gazza and our financial mess spurred (whoops i punned) us on last time we lifted the cup.

Another reason why this could be Tottenham's year is the form of three players who at the start of the season barely got a look in.

Gareth Bale, once the unlucky charm of the spurs team, has come a long way since the dark days of yesteryear. His skill going forward is exceptional and he is finally proving why we spent so much money on him when he was a teenager. His galloping runs down the left have taken many a fans breath away and his progression into our first choice left winger will hopefully come soon. David Bentley has also improved in similar terms, and during our worst patch of the season in January both came into the side after injurys to Aaron Lennon and Benoit Assou-Ekotto and were promptly the best players in the side.

Then there is Super, Super Pav. 5 goals in 4 games has brought firmly back into the affections on Harry Redknapp, who was ignoring the fact that he is second only to Jermain Defoe in superb finishing skills at the Lane. His even tracking back, and with more games in the team, Redknapp's U-Turn will surely pay off.

A squad with such strength in depth is surely capable of doing great things, and even if we don't win the FA Cup or break the so-called 'Big Four' then our time will come if we just keep on building and stay patient then the good times will keep on coming at White Hart Lane. Victory over Fulham will cement our third competative visit to Wembley in 3 seasons. Victory is upon us. COYS.

The Gulf Between Generation X and Generation X-Factor

This weeks blog is a bit of a rant im afraid. It's okay, normal service will be resumed next week but here is something that I just want to get off my chest. Here we go.

I have two sisters, one is sixteen and the other is almost ten. They are just the right age to be influenced by what they see and what they hear on television and on the radio and the everything that was wrong with the noughties. Reality TV such as Big Brother, obsessions with celebrities in the media and music which lacks originality and where commercial value means more than the sum of it's parts. Put all of this together and what do you get?

The X-Factor and other talent searching shows before it are surely the most degrading and worst thing that has slopped onto our TV screens since the turn of the millenium. Now Iknow that I am sadly a member of a growing minority but I really hope the world sees sense and one day people who do actual jobs such as those in the Armed Forces and Nursing, not to mention the everyday jobs that have to be done get paid better than some of the tits who subject us to such tripe. It's incredibly tragic to see judges who have all the talent of a pie to break the dreams of a poor member of the public who then is comforted by Dermot O Leary, who only shows compassion because it's great tele. Theres nothing that would make me more tempted to jump off a cliff than be comforted by that guy, who so manipulated he should have the word 'tool' tatooed on his forehead.

I'm not sure what it is, maybe its age or maybe a sex thing, but there is a growing gulf in the interests of those around my age and teenagers. Maybe were on the right side of Twenty and we are not as influenced by what we see and hear as much as used to be. For instance, most of the music my sister listens to is as irritating as a choir of nits climbing into your brain and singing 'Angels' at the top of the'ye tiny voices. I can see nothing of interest in Big Brother, OK Magazine and Jordan on ITV2 so i ignore it like a deaf Grandad sitting in a chair in the corner of the room ignores modern life.

Another show that really gets my goat is Britains Got Talent. Well the judges certainly haven't. The only thing Amanda Holden is fit to judge is an unhappy marriage. Piers Morgan, who has the charm of a wet biscuit, is slightly gormless and has the kind of smile which would make toddlers simultaniously busrt into tears all over the country.

Then there is Simon Cowell, who will stop at nothing until he is King of the World. His watermark for talent is so high you either have to sing like Beyonce or sell your children just to get through to the next round. Then again he is such a shrewed buisnessman that he could probably sell you your own hand. I'd like to think that the millions of people who watched that Youtube clip with Susan Boyle noticed the Judges almost dismiss her as a joke before she opens her lungs (not literally) and stuns the room (although that would be some talent if you could live after, i'd watch it, fickle much?). The only problem is that just as soon as she proves herself you can almost see the pound signs in the whites of Simon Cowell's eyes. Welcome to the machine, Ms Boyle.

So, to keep in the traditions of the evictions we have no interest in from these poisonous programmes, lets have a vote. It it an age thing or is it the views of people who need to get with the times because this is where the world is heading? You decide

P.S To see Simon Cowell dressed up as the dirty dog he is, watch this!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77Ym3GH5oBE

A Distorted Reality Is Now A Necessity To Be Free

Breathtaking, painful, heartfelt, optimistic, melodic and brilliant are just some of the superlatives I use to describe one of my favourite singer/songwriters, Elliott Smith. I first discovered his work when I was sitting in my friends bedroom listening to music in the early hours of a Saturday morning. I wasn't so sure at first but my friend convinced me to take a copy of the album Figure 8, and I was hooked.

Last year he would have been 40, the age that some say life begins at. But here was a man who had already lived, seen and achieved so much that even some men double this age will never achieve his heights. Had he not have taken his own life at the tender age of 34 then maybe this world would have been blessed with more of his nuggets of gold.

Elliott Smith was not a flawed genius. He had experienced such an intense array of emotions and as an idol to so many music fans across the world. This only enhanced his humanity and made him the gentle yet troubled voice that still whispers in the ears of millions of fans, most, like me, never heard while he was still with us. He went to the edge and never came back, while some of his peers steered away from the verge before falling into the abyss just Elliott did.

On his work, I would have to say that Either/Or is by far my favourite album. The last album Elliott recorded before his work went global (Miss Misery was nominated for an Oscar for it's inclusion in Good Will Hunting'), it captured a fertile moment in Elliott's songwriting with most of the songs which were not included on it making up the posthumorous 'New Moon'.

'Ballad of Big Nothing' is a lovely optimistic musing while 'Rose Parade' is a chilled out number but the real big hitters are 'Between the Bars' and 'Say Yes' which are both sentimental and touching in equal measure as Elliott opens his heart to the listener and doesnt let them go.

The void left in music left by his passing is epitomised in a lyric from 'Miss Misery', Do you miss me, Miss Misery like you say you do'. The answer for so many young people who are equally as troubled as he was, is sadly yes. XO

Things That Go Bump In The Ad Breaks

Hello again bloggers, I thought I might restrict myself to one blog a week as to not exhaust both you and I with a wealth of words and useless shite that I spout about. This week, its CREEPY ADVERTS...WOOOO!!! Whoops sorry for that.

On a break I had from work last year I stumbled upon (joke for the cybergeeks out there) a blackhole that pulls you in and doesn't let go, a Youtube trip! In my immensely bored state of mind, I started searching for clips of things I remembered from my childhood, but as what frequently happens in this quicksand of the world wide web, I kept searching until I stumbledupon (there it is again) on an advert of Kinder Surpise that was shown (and apparently banned) in the mid 1980's.

Now first let me say that I am not normally frightened by horror films or similar programmes set out to shock or scare you. But the next three commercials I am going to talk about are just too weird and far too fake to make me want to eat chocolate or popcorn or even buy myself a dolly of a laughing child, this was probably Gary Glitter's shopping list before the day he got caught.

The 30 second clip consists of an all too convincing Humpty Dumpty character enticing the viewer into buying his chocolatey treats. Humpty's possibly far to realistic to come across as a cuddly child's character and this was probably one of the reasons it scared littl-ans shitless back in the day. It manuarisms are far too chilling and real which gives it a slightly sinister edge.

Which brings me to my next commercial. In 2007, American popcorn tycoon Orville Redenbacher appeared in an advert promoting his number one selling product. I watched this advert in a compilation of these clips and straight away noticed that something was not right with our host. It was only when a caption appeared on the screen saying that this man was dead, that I genuinely had to turn it off. Redenbacher had indeed been dead for the last 13 years when the commercial was released and this was a sort of weird CGI zombie telling the viewer about what he likes to pop in his mouth! The only thing that could be creepier is to share a sleeping bag with a hologram of Michael Jackson.

And thats the trouble with these both of these adverts. They both revolve around a man-made central character or figure which has been made to look convincing but looks far too synthetic and flawed to come across as being genuine. And for that reason it sends a shiver down your spine because you know that although they both are not real, the quirkiness is what makes them slightly un-nerving.

The third and possibly most frightening advert I watched was a commercial for the American doll Baby Laugh A Lot from 1971, which when you pressed its stomach, laughed hysterically for about a minute. One clip I found suggests that the voice mechanism used was of a man's laughter and not that of a small girl as used in the advert. Whichever way you look at it, the creators of Child's Play and Bride of Chucky must have been taking notes. Im seriously convinced that Tony Soprano and other mafia types should have used use this product on squealers by tying them down to a chair, turning the lights off and shining a torch on it as it laughs its victims into a state of utter horror to get the information they needed. It would have worked.

In conclusion, I am pleased I am not an LSD casualty or these would have probably been the kind of nightmares I would be subjected to all the time. All the more reason to channel hop during the commercial breaks I think.

Kinder Suprise Commercial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGxWxjEr6F8
Orville Redenbacher Creepy Commercial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fcn4p213Zg8
Baby Laugh A Lot Commercial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44e-Y08_B-0

TV Shows I Bloody Love Part 2

A brief guide into my favourite programmes and the reasons why the shelf with my DVDs on it is at breaking point.

Life On Mars - There is a recurring theme throughout this list of programmes which is they have hit their peak somewhere in middle of their lifespan and slowly the quality has gone down hill as rapidly as John Leslie's career. Life On Mars, however, is the exception. Funny, hard-hitting, The Sweeney and Quantum Leap all rolled into one big ball of nostalgia. The double act between time-traveller Sam Tyler and his old school show stopper superior Gene Hunt was electric and theere wasn't a single duff episode in the shows two series run. I hope that in 10 years Life On Mars is celebrated as much as some of the other names in this list, in some cases it derserves more praise than a few of them. It rode a crestwave of magic that never came back.

Blackadder - The most cunning character in British sitcom history, Blackadder ran for 4 series, three specials, and 400 years (pretty impressive eh?) Undoubtfully one of the best comedies we as a country have ever produced, it stills makes you laugh even after being shown for decades, one of the reasons being the fantastic performances of (support!) cast Hugh Laurie (House) and Stephen Fry (Quizmaster). The show definetly peaked at Blackadder the Third, but the melancholic Blackadder Goes Forth, set in the trenches in Flanders in 1917, is equally funny and melancholic in the same line as Blackadder bemoans the doomed destiny of he and his comrades while displaying the stiff upper lip of Britshness, especially in the last 10 minutes of the final episode. The whole series is a case study into the pointlessness and madness of war, and surely every viewer heart sank during THAT final scene. When is a comedy not a comedy? When it tuggs on your heart strings in a way not even some drama's can.

Only Fools and Horses - For my money the best comedy in this list, It went out on a high in 1996, when over 20 million viewers watched as Del Boy, Rodney and Uncle Albert walked off into the sunset as 'millionaires' after years of ducking and diving, whealing and dealing, then it came back for three christmas specials and then limped off again. But it was in the late 80's that the show really hit it's peak and no matter how many times you've seen Del fall through the bar or the bus blow up, there always just as many brilliant one liners and moments that keep you laughing, seven years after the show was finally laid to rest. OFNH also had the power to make you cry to with moment such as Grandad's funeral and Rodney getting married certain to make your eyes moist in the right mood.

Scrubs - Remember what I said earlier about Life On Mars staying constant throughout? Well sadly the same can't be said for Scrubs, which just refuses to die and go to TV Heaven. The first five seasons were definetly the best, as the daily life of a hospital intern seen through the eyes of (originally) likable dweeb J.D and his and his best friends rise up the ranks in the Sacred Heart Hospital and dealt with both the extreme highs and lows of the responsibilites of their jobs. The problem was that by season 6, J.D had become an unlikable teenage buffoon who seemed to base his whole personality on the running joke of his mentor Dr Cox (best character by far) calling him girls names which just made him more and more irritiating like the attention seeker in class at school who annoys you so much you just want to shut his dick in his lunch box just to shut him up. Then he leaves, then he comes back, then leaves, then comes back again (arrgg make your mind up Zach Braff!) Ah the memories of a once great sitcom.....

TV Shows I Bloody Love Part 1

A brief guide into my favourite programmes and the reasons why the shelf with my DVDs on it is at breaking point.


Doctor Who - Simply the most inventive, inspirational and amazing thing I have ever seen on Television. Even the old episodes from the classic series still stand up story-wise to anything US imports have tried to eclipse in recent years, although seeing Jon Pertwee chased by a piece of tinfoil with a face like George Galloway is not a scary as it used to be...or is it? Best episode in recent years was Blink, which barely featured the Doctor and managed to be scary and engaging for all ages throughout.

The Simpsons - Okay, so the last six seasons or so have been as funny as watching England crash out of the World Cup on penalties, but even daily never ending repeats on Channel 4 are still ten times better than anything else being shown that night. Best Episode is Season 4's 'Last Exit to Springfield' in which Lisa needs braces and Homer becomes Union Leader in a bid to keep the 'dental plan'. Simply brilliant.

Top Gear - Picture the pitch, three middle aged men shouting at each other about cars for an hour then invite a celebrity to drive around their test track really fast and challenge each other in tasks that most of the time involves 7% about actual bloody cars. Why does it work? God knows, but the banter between Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May is reminisent of any debate we've all had in a pub about who is the greatest band of all time. The challenges are the best part of the programme and then of course there is the Stig, some say that he excretes toast through his pancreas...

Red Dwarf - A cult comedy series for some, it took influences from films as diverse as Casablanca, The Odd Couple, Alien and even Pride and Prejudice and stuck it all in a spaceship 3 million years from Earth. One minute the crew (populated by the last human, a hologram of his dead bunkmate, a creature that evolved from cats, a domestic droid without a penis and a floating head) would be running away from a curry monster, the next stuck in a cowboy video game fighting for their lives then erased from time altogether. Their adventures were silly and fun, something wihch is missing from all sitcoms today. Plus it gave us the word 'Smeghead' a word so funny it had the power to blow snot from the nose of an eight year old whenever they mentioned it.

Family Guy - Cancelled twice by Fox, the laugh out loud adult version of The Simpsons (come on, look at the similarities, a dunse of a father, an outcast for a daughter and secondary characters who are just as funny if not funnier than the main family) Family Guy doesn't care who it offends with cut away jokes which poke fun at any Hollywood celebrity or politician worth ridiculing and loving spoofs of cult movies from the 80's, comic genius and anarchist Peter Cook would have loved it. It can be as abstract and outrageous as it likes and the storylines can still be plausible within the Family Guy universe, someting maybe only South Park can do as convincingly.